Are Emotions INHERENTLY good or Bad?

Jenifer J. Rhynes

Born from my journey in understanding emotions, personality and an intelligence that transcends IQ.

Well, if you believe in “Don’t shoot the messenger”.  They are neither:  merely messengers!  I’ve created a workbook with the intent of facilitating the understanding of just those messages.  It is born out of life experience.

In my coaching work, I have found it amusing that I'm the "feelings" person.  It ultimately is a compliment or testament to how far I've come.  Early in my career I was labeled "computer woman" not because of a nerd like skill set; but because I was perceived as being more Vulcan than human.  When I pursued the notion with a trusted circle, I was advised that I possessed a certain “coldness” and that it was most evident during intense events. These early experiences lead me to a lifetime in the pursuit of understanding emotions and along the way, I discovered personality typing.
 
I have emotions like everyone else but they were not the basis of my decision making.  I primarily approach decisions with intuition with a secondary role of reasoning.  I learned conversely that most people in my work circle were driven by feelings and needed all the details of the story around those feelings.  My perception of them was:  they were irrational and hung up on petty, insignificant details.  
 
I grew to appreciate the role of emotions and learned to pay attention to them.  I investigated "feelings" (I now call them emotions) and embraced their role through reasoning them out.  Just like getting to Carnegie Hall, I practiced, practiced, practiced... now apparently, not through aptitude; but by through will, I have some mastery.
 
During this journey, I stumbled upon the concept of Emotional Intelligence.  I found the insights compelling and it coupled leadership and personal development with my effort to understand the role of emotions.  Emotional Intelligence precedes great leadership.  The elements of Emotional Intelligence that were key to great leadership are:
·  Own your emotions
·  Your emotions don't rule you
·  Manage your emotions
·  Control your emotions
·  Possess empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another)
·  Recognize the emotions of others
·  Not judging someone based on an emotional response
·  Comfortable with self and the emotions that follow
·  Can name the emotions of others
·  Can change course based on recognizing the feelings others are experiencing
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I've found as I've coached people in their leadership role, that developing tools and concepts that they can fall back on were key to their success for both the understanding and management of their emotions.  The simpler the process I developed, the more likely they'd use it.  The lack of emotional acumen seems to keep folks stuck more than any other skill set, in my experience.